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Was there a point where you knew
things were starting to get better?
Jonny: I started seeing progress in
therapy. I began actually wanting to
see people and engage in society. If
you're in the depths of depression, you
struggle with the symptoms and your
judgement is clouded so you think
you'll never get better. It's important
for people to know you can get there.
IN THE UK, MEN
ARE THREE TIMES
AS LIKELY AS
WOMEN TO TAKE
THEIR OWN LIFE
12.5% OF MEN IN THE
UK ARE SUFFERING
FROM ONE OF THE
Being told that
boys shouldn't be
vulnerable has a
35% OF MEN WAIT
MORE THAN TWO
YEARS TO DISCLOSE
A MENTAL HEALTH
ISSUE TO SOMEONE
Greg: I started to look forward to
counselling and talking about what
had been good and bad for me
ELSE OR NEVER
that week. It's the little victories that
38% OF NEW DADS
make you realise you're on the way.
Andy: Bronwen, our second daughter,
was born in January and I was so
anxious that the same thing would
happen again. Bizarrely, she came
along so quickly, I ended up delivering
HALF OF ALL ADULT
her in our bathroom at home! I was
ISSUES BEGIN BEFORE
like, I can deal with anything after
that!' Weirdly, the thing that put me in
ark place was
Tony: For me, it was the realisation
THE AGE OF 15"
hat 'saved' me.
that I had been ill three times and
models boys can look up to and know
I had also got better three times.
Why do you think men find it difficult
you haven't got to put on a brave face.
Greg: I hope it will start to bleed into
older generations, too. My dad went
through a bad spell last year but got
the help he needed and I think it's
because he'd seen me open up
What do you do to help maintain
good mental health now?
Tony: I still get depressed and anxious
but when I do, I'll go for a run which
I love, talk to my wife or see friends.
Greg: I'm very lucky that I'm no
longer in the situation that I was
a year ago. It will always be there
listen was a massive thing for me
It gave me the confidence to see a
doctor, who prescribed medication; the
difference it made was phenomenal.
Andy: For me, it was a text from
a friend the day after Ffion came
home to ask how it was going and
I replied honestly, 'This is horrible,
I hate it, I don't know what to do.
Seconds later, he rang to say he'd
been through the same thing. He
basically said, You'll never be the dad
you think you're going to be - you've
never done it before.' It really helped.
Greg: I was at boarding school and
I felt so shut off. I left Mum a voicemail
saying, 'I'm really not OK.' My parents
to address their mental health issues?
Jonny: I used to cry a lot as a kid, and
people would say, 'Come on, big boys
don't cry.' Being told from a young
age that boys shouldn't be vulnerable
has a lasting impact. Boys I speak to
in schools are often embarrassed to
talk about how they feel.
Tony: It's the typical things people say,
like 'man up' and 'sort yourself out
that stop men talking. You're brought
up to take the role of provider in life,
so if there's a problem, you sort it out.
Andy: Yes, growing up, my role models
were my granddads and my dad. They
were breadwinners you'd never have
caught them talking about feelings. In
20 years' time, I hope we'll be the role
but it's taken more of a back seat.
I find writing helps, and playing
team sports. Or just taking time
to myself to sit and think
Jonny: Being kinder to myself, more
compassionate. Sleep is so important,
came to the school and I started
counselling two weeks later.
urvey for mentalhealth.
Sorce:Youo maritans/res2016.Jonny tells his story in his bo e Stranger on the Bridg
key-data-mental-health. tSource: nct.org.uk/about-us/news-and-views/news/dads-distress-many-new-fathers-are-worried-about-
their-mental-health. Source: Annual Report of the Chief Medical Officer 2012, Our Children Deserve Better: Prevention Pays
GOOD LIVING I 95