REASONS TO...
SAY YOU'RE
Need to apologise to someone? Do it! It'll free
you from guilt and help you grow as a person,
says coaching psychologist Jessica Chivers
IT WILL HELP TO MAKE YOU
IT HELPS YOU IMPROVE AS A
FEEL BETTER Apologising is good
I for you as an individual, whether
or not it's accepted. That's because
it's about you conducting yourself
according to your standards and
values - and that feels good. You
make an apology to align with
what feels right for you.
PERSON If your words or actions
have hurt someone, saying sorry
is a way to reflect on that behaviour
and change it. If you get similar kinds
of negative feedback time and again,
it may be time to acknowledge that
you keep hearing the same complaint
and address how you treat people.
IT REINFORCES RELATIONSHIPS
An apology can strengthen a
Z bond because you're saying the
other person is important to you and
you want to maintain or even improve
the relationship. Revealing something
about yourself - for context, not as an
excuse - can help, too. You might tell
a neighbour, 'Sorry I yelled when your
builder parked across my drive l'd
just had a row with my husband.
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FREES
YOU Saying sorry releases you
from guilt and shame, both of
which are emotions that eat away at
you. After you've apologised, you can
move on. However, if you've really
hurt someone, you need to show
the other person that you've really
thought about the impact your
behaviour had, so be specific about
what you are apologising for.
HOW TO APOLOGISE
a lot about what happened on
Thursday.' or 'Thursday's playing
on my mind'. Focus on the insights
you've had. It shows you care.
SORT YOUR THOUGHTS
Get the incident down on paper, to
help you make sense of how you
were thinking, what happened, how
NO PRESSURE If apologising
via voicemail, email or text, end your
message with: 'If you want to talk,
I'm here. I'm not expecting anything,
I just wanted you to hear this..'
you reacted, and what to do next.
OPEN UP A good way to start
a conversation is: I've been thinking
For more info about Jessica,
visit jessicachivers.com
62 | ASDA MAGAZINE